


Tryouts

by Entwife_Incognito



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Communication, Compatibility check, Confrontation, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Humor, Jealousy, Masturbation, Porn, Romance, Spanking, smutty smut smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 10:35:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8621131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Entwife_Incognito/pseuds/Entwife_Incognito
Summary: Canon is closing fast, restricting the options for a believable story line. So this one is kind of crazy, I guess. Okay Porn. Spanking, for their first time? Lisbon finds a way to test her fantasies. Jane senses painful fall-out. I'm always trying to find ways around Pike. One-shot. Disclaimer: I own nothing about The Mentalist.Originally posted at FFnet on May 3, 2014. Now here with editing to improve readability and continuity.





	

Regular sex was a nice thing. Something Lisbon hadn't had, long-term, since college and Greg. A long time ago. A tight smile took the full color from her cherry lips. Marcus wasn't overly exciting or adventurous, but he seemed to know where everything was and how to work it. In her previously deprived state, it was more than enough.  


Getting off without a mechanical device was a decided plus. She did wonder when he might go down on her. She loved when a man was eager for that! Of course any man was ready for a blowjob. Somehow it didn't seem as thrilling to give when it wasn't reciprocated. At all. Restless, a little sarcasm burst a raspberry from her lips. Maybe he was saving that for marriage. She couldn't imagine being his wife, but ignored the incongruity that she might go to D.C. with him. There were other benefits to that.  


Lisbon stretched out on her couch. Night had fallen and some bird that sang all night started up as she noticed the first fireflies of the evening dotting the yard outside her front window. The bird was nice, really. It had a sweet song, just loud. Maybe it was a nightingale. Did they have those in Texas? She'd ask Wiley look it up.  


Marcus was comfortable, though she admitted she really didn't know him well. Easy-going. Attentive. Not too exciting. Okay. Kind of boring. They didn't share a lot of interests beyond the job. But comfort was important. It was nice that they called each other by first names. It was personal between them. Not work. Jane called her by her first name but she only called him Jane. It was habit. Reserve from when he was her consultant and employee. Days long gone now.  


She scooted down the couch, taking a pillow with her so that she could hang her feet over the arm.  


Perhaps, she should change and start calling him Patrick. Who would care now? She tried to imagine how he would react, then got lost in just thinking about him.  


The sweeping expressiveness of his face. You had to really be paying attention if you wanted to catch even a fraction of what went through that brilliant mind. Images of the sun-lines around his mouth and sea green eyes, his blowing tawny curls, swept Lisbon away for several minutes. How sleek and handsomely he fit a suit. The unbearable roundness of his ass when she got a peek. She flexed her hands and fingers. He had huge hands, beautiful masculine hands with long graceful fingers. She bet he knew how to use those fingers! His mouth was so unusual with its full flat lips. What must it be like to kiss them? To have his wide muscular tongue inside her mouth . . . exploring her nether—  


Whoa! Hot blood was flowing to her core, warming and moistening it. It only made the millionth time she had lapsed into sexual fantasies about the man. Some she let ripen and possess her, satisfying herself languidly with her fingers and—. Damn! Mechanical devices. Now she was annoyed.  


It was odd that she never had sexual fantasies about Marcus. Wait. Surely some? A chill went through her when she couldn't remember an instance. She enjoyed their encounters, enjoyed responding to him. But when it was over, it was done. She didn't toy with it in her mind, enjoying what they had shared. No unbidden fantasies came to her about what they might do next.  


Nothing? That didn't seem normal. Now she was unsettled, a bit anxious and confused. Did that really mean anything in the long run? Something that told her the truth deep inside said it was important. She didn't want to listen. It made her feel cold and more than a little afraid.  


Time to shake the mood. Jumping up, she stretched and walked to the kitchen.  


A mooching stray cat had adopted her and he meowed outside the door, bumming his evening meal. Rattling the box of cat food, she hollered, "Coming kitty." Opening a tiny can of cat tuna, she spooned some into his bowl to put alongside the dry. There! That looked like a meal for a cat. She opened the door with a smile. It felt nice to have something alive to care for, that needed her. "Here you go, Kitty. Tuna tonight." She rubbed his big tabby head while he purred and pressed into her hand, taking a few steps and walking back to insistently capture it again. Food in a minute. Rapture, now. That's what he got from her. She smiled sweetly. He always made her feel happy, at least for a while.  


The idea of rapture shifted her thoughts to Jane again. There was something in Jane's masculine nature that called to the woman in her. It was her hardest fight against him because it was so basic, so primal. It was the sort of thing a woman should respond to, especially if she thought there was, well, love. It signaled something perhaps not to be missed. That she was passing it up bothered her a lot because of her frequent and intense sexual fantasies about, well, Patrick, because she thought of him with his first name during those.  


She opened the fridge and poured a glass of white, sauntered back to the couch and stretched out again, drifting in moments to Patrick and his hands touching her, his body on top of hers.  


Lisbon sat bolt upright, eyes wide as the breath stalled in her chest. What if she never stopped having these fantasies? What if she continued to build them up in her mind and compare them to Marcus over time? A fantasy would always outshine real life. It was a bad way to go into a . . . a deeper, a more permanent relationship. And in a city far away from the man of her fantasies. Patrick was real, not just a fantasy. She needed to find out if her fantasies matched the man!  


But what if they did? She knew she was in love with Jane. It was deep and of years duration. But they had never acted on the physical promptings. Would he agree to live this fantasy with her? Let her get it out of her system? What if he agreed and they started this thing and couldn't stop? She could delay moving to D.C., but wasn't she playing false with both Jane and Marcus?  


God! What was she thinking? It was crazy! Nobody did such a thing in real life, did they? She didn't have a trusted friend to ask. People had friends with benefits all the time. Why not a . . . a sort of tryout? But Jane was no pussy hound out chasing tail in the wild single life. He was celibate. Why? There were times in the latter years that she thought he might be saving himself . . . for her. But that was idiocy. He was still stuck with his dead family. And who could blame him? Well, she did. As sympathetic a creature as he might be, after Red John's exit it was just wallowing. Maybe this was the thing to get him out of it!  


If it didn't make sense, that was too bad. It made sense to her. It involved only Jane and her, so if they wanted it there was nothing to stop them. Marcus. She couldn't tell Marcus what she was doing. He wouldn't understand. Jane might think she was crazy and want no part of it, but he would understand what drove her. After all, she was pretty sure he shared her desire, no matter what he'd said in the hospital about being happy she was happy. The opportunity to have sex with her? He couldn't pass that up. Regardless of how he squashed them down, Jane would have urges, like anyone. And she was sure those urges would be for her!  


She texted him. _I need to speak with you. Can I come over?_  


A minute later she received a reply. _Yes. Please come._  


Pleased his response sounded eager, relieved he hadn't rebuffed her, she grabbed her keys and went out the door.  


"You want to try me out." _After all this time, casual sex? A one-nighter?_  


Lisbon regretted she hadn't gone with her first impulse. She should have come in the door and put her hands on him, kissed him until he followed her down to . . . wherever they would go. But no. She had to be honest.  


"I knew it would sound bad out loud. But I thought you'd understand. If nothing else, I thought you might not mind a little sex . . . with me." A coy smile played at her lips, and she allowed the steam of her recent fantasies to darken her eyes.  


His mouth suddenly dry, Jane licked his lips. _She's really turning up the heat. She's serious._ "Teresa. I haven't done casual sex since before I was married. Even Lorelei was not casual. It had a cold purpose. You and I have known each other a very long time. Things aren't good between us now, but with our history and the feelings of all those years, it wouldn't take much to reconcile if we both wanted it."  


"You're talking about friends again?"  


"You're talking about friends with benefits?"  


Lisbon frowned. This was getting complicated. "Not like that. No." _Not ongoing._ Clearing her throat, she cleared her thoughts. _Except . . . maybe . . ._  


"So just do me and on your way. Back to Pike. You're fooling yourself if you think I'm made that way." _Tread carefully or you will truly break my heart . . ._  


"And you're made . . . how? Asexual?"  


Jane's voice rose in anger. "Don't bait me with bullshit! I can see it a mile off!" _That hurt!_  


Eyes flying wide with irritation, Lisbon looked to the side, regretting her taunt. _He thinks I'm toying with him._  


Jane took a long, deep breath and spoke more quietly. "Teresa. Let's be honest, for once. You're here because you want to make love with me. You've wanted to for years. You don't want to miss it and never know. I don't either. I'm ready, if that's where you want to go. I'll take off my ring for you if you're ready to try me, really try me. A full blown, exclusive relationship with me. Look at me." He paused until she did. "It can't include Pike. No way."  


Holding his gaze, Lisbon let him see the soft regret for her words. "I understand. I don't mean to make less of you . . ."  


"Is that really all you feel for me now? A curiosity about how I am in bed?"  


"No! But it's something I can't get out of my head." Her lips tightened, reluctant to bare her soul as the impulse of her heart demanded. What would he think? "I don't have fantasies about Marcus."  


Jane pulled his head back in mild shock. "Teresa?"  


"I know. It sounds bad. I just realized it tonight and it scared me. I thought you might . . . well, help me. It's kind of an emergency. I mean, if I'm going to D.C. with him . . ."  


Gawping, Jane raised his eyebrows. "Yes. I'd say that's an emergency—going across the country to live with a man you don't have a deep attraction to."  


"He's good to me, Jane. The sex is . . . good. But my body doesn't long for him. It scares me. Because it's you I fantasize about." _Oh Jesus. I've said it._ She felt hot from her shoulders to her scalp. It was embarrassing to talk about this with him. But it was an emergency. "I trust you."  


_Teresa longed for him?_ "Why don't you try to spice things up with Pike? Take the initiative?" _Wait. Stop making the case for the other guy, you dope!_  


"He's not, uh . . .. the adventurous sort. This is so embarrassing to talk about, Jane."  


_An affair. That's what she's proposing. Teresa is a woman to have affairs?_ It was impossible to believe. "Do you even reach orgasm with him?"  


"Yes! Of course. Most times." She blushed. _He's looking at me that way again. Like he's never seen me before. Do I really sound that idiotic?_

"Jesus, Teresa! What are you doing?"  


_Ugh. What am I doing?_ "Trying to find love and happiness, if I can. So what if it's a little work? It beats waiting around . . . for nothing."  


She had him there. He had made her wait. For years. Some with good reason. But, now? Fear. Inertia. _And what if being with me made her life worse? What if I couldn't make her happy?_ He had to ask, "What about Pike?" _Sneak around? The Teresa I know couldn't be an illusion. There's more stress--._ The implications hit him hard. _She's not thinking right._ And then, _This is about me. Teresa wants to know if I want her before she goes off with Pike!_  


"I won't tell him. Unless—unless . . . "  


"Unless the sex turns out to be so good with me that you won't want to go back to him?"  


Lisbon dropped her head and pushed her hair behind beet-red ears, and didn't answer. _Yep. That's the plan._  


"Look. Teresa. I can tell you're really confused. And I think I understand why. But don't you think you're going at this backwards?" _Pursue what you dream of, what attracts you and try to make that work._ But Jane knew he was guilty of the same lack of courage as Lisbon.  


"But if you don't love me . . . and it's okay with you for me to go off with Marcus as long as it makes me happy . . . ? Well. This would make me happy, too."  


"Oh, ho! Very subtle." His chuckle was rueful and carried no humor. But his voice grew softer. "Who said I didn't love you?"  


"You did."  


"When?"  


"Which time?"  


"Any time. Name one."  


"How about when you said it and then took it back?"  


"Oh. You know I couldn't put you in Red John's crosshairs. I didn't know if we would live or die in that moment. And I couldn't stop myself from saying it."  


Her green eyes were watching him carefully, waiting for him to continue.  


"I did love you."  


"You let me believe you didn't."  


"I know. You know my excuses."  


"And what about when you said everything except you loved me, made me think you had something special for me in the car . . . and then ditched me on the cliff at the beach!"  


The memory still held the power to make him cry with helpless regret, but he steeled himself to answer her. "You don't know how much that hurt me—. I thought I'd lost everything and was probably going to my death. I wasn't going to take you with me. And I'd do it over again." His chin jutted in stubborn resolve. "I didn't have time to plan something less, less—shit! Less hideous. Don't you know it eats at me to this day?"  


"No. I don't. Because you got out of there so fast . . . you used my feelings to get away."  


"It's true. I did." His eyes were so sad when he looked at her. "But I did love you."  


"You made no corrections the next time we met. You're a coward!"  


"Red John—"  


"Oh, screw Red John! And screw his rotting carcass!"  


"That's easy to say now-."  


"And in the hospital the other night . . . You knew I was begging you to tell me how you really felt. But you let me know you felt nothing." _Why did you do that? Why didn't you rescue me when you saw me struggling to get to you?_  


"I was lying. So you wouldn't have to feel torn, guilty about going where you would be happy. I did love you. I don't want you to go away from me . . . to leave me. I don't ever want to be without you. I should think that would be obvious from how you came to the FBI. I did love you." _I didn't think I could make you happy, so I let you win your game._  


"Did? The hospital was less than a week ago."  


"Yes. So, what does that tell you?"  


Lisbon jumped towards him, fists curled at the end of her rigid arms, furious. "I don't want to guess, you bastard! If I mean something to you, tell me! Let me make my own decision! You think that playing the martyr and saying nothing so I can have a happy life means you're not trying to control me? How stupid do you think I am? If you're withholding information I need to make decisions about my life because of what you think I should have -. Tell me! How is that not controlling, Jane?" She stomped her foot and began to pace. "You're a prize, you know it?"  


Jane flushed, staring at her open-mouthed, processing the truth of what Lisbon had said. He shrugged his capitulation, shaking his head. "You're right. You're absolutely right. I'm still trying to control you." He looked at Lisbon, currently with her back to him, tossing her beautiful hair. "I don't know what to do here."  


She spun around, still angry, but relaxed in wonder as she saw that he had understood her. "That may be the first honest thing you've said about this—ever! Tell me what's going on with you! Tell me how you feel! Don't try to disguise it or do anything, give it to me straight. That's all I want from you, Patrick. Not lies. Not manipulation. No ambiguous or couched words. Be brave. The truth, damn it! We're talking about my life, here."  


"My life, too," he said, almost a whisper. "As you've just pointed out . . . I've been in love with you for years. I thought I could take my time. That we were back working together and it would be the same as before. I was stupid. I was in stasis on the island. But you were changing. I didn't expect that. I thought . . . I thought . . . we understood one another and wanted the same thing."  


Lisbon looked at him, non-plussed and trying to make sense of Jane's words. "How could you think we understood one another when we didn't talk? You don't believe in psychics, remember? Well, I'm certainly not one! I'm slow that way. I need words!"  


"Of course you do. My letters. I—."  


"Your letters were wonderful. But they never said, "I love you."  


"I couldn't. I didn't have a right. I didn't know if I would ever be back. Ever see you again. It wouldn't have been fair for me to try to tie you to a situation like that, to me if I could never see you again."  


"Do you see what you did, Jane? Why I'm so angry with you that I have to try and make a break from you?" Tears filled her eyes and threatened to spill over.  


Dropping his head, he shook it, mulling her point. He rubbed his hair. How could he have been so stupid? "Yes, I can see now. Deciding what was best for you, keeping the truth secret by, by not telling you about my feelings and what I wanted. So you would have the truth, the right information to make your own decision. Secretive. And controlling. And feeling virtuous about it."  


"That's right! That's exactly it! You finally get it, Patrick. I can't believe it." For a few moments, she felt so unburdened, so light, that she could swear she was floating. She gasped and smiled at the same time, her breathing exhausted from carrying a heavy weight. He got it!  


Jane knew he deserved to be pinned on this, but Lisbon was as big a liar as he!  


"Are we going to talk about your lies?"  


"Mine-? Oh." Her face screwed up in anger. "I think I might be forgiven those since you had me so confused with your lies I couldn't take a chance on telling you the truth about my feelings."  


"Is that right? Forgiven?" Nodding in silence, he offered a challenge in almost a whisper. "Does that mean I am to be forgiven?"  


Lisbon folded her arms. "Tit for tat?"  


"That's usually how forgiveness goes, yes. Are there things you want to reserve as special grudges?"  


The corners of her mouth quirking a little, she said, "No. But now's not a good time to ask me. I haven't thought of everything yet."  


"You have an exhaustive list somewhere?" Glad for the lighter turn to the conversation, it felt like their familiar banter.  


"Don't be an ass."  


"Well, do you? It seems important. And since we're telling the truth . . . "  


She stamped her foot but without much energy. "Then . . . yes. Probably. I said I can't think of everything now."  


"Do you have them written down somewhere?"  


"No! Do you have a list on me?" Her face was turned to the floor, but she raised her eyes to watch him answer.  


"No. I have a memory palace, but it doesn't have a room for grudges against you. Only gratitude."  


She lowered her head again and started squeaking, like a series of suppressed sneezes, and Jane realized that Lisbon was trying not to cry. "I guess that makes you a better person."  


Her sarcasm couldn't make it through her quivering bottom lip. It made her look in a pout, something that Jane found very appealing and drew him to comfort her. But he didn't make a move. "Your lies, Teresa. In the hospital when you told me about the D.C. move."  


"If you knew I was lying, why didn't you stop me?"  


"No deflecting. The lies. Tell me what they were."  


"That I was happy to go."  


"And?"  


She looked at him sharply with red-rimmed watery eyes, but her cheeks were not yet tear-stained. "Anything that gave the impression I was happy to go and didn't mind what your lying reaction was. You saw me! I know you did! You cut me with your coldness, Patrick. It nearly broke my heart."  


"There are two broken hearts here."  


_Oh . . . no . . . his heart . . .is mine._ Something in her chest soared and plummeted at the same time. "I'm sorry I lied. I'm so confused about how you feel about me. I was desperate. Trying to get you to tell me flat out."  


"You wanted me to stop you. Rescue you. And I didn't."  


"Yeeeeeesssss!" She broke down, the pain just beginning to seep out. What she really felt.  


Somewhere between keening and wailing, it was mournful, not like any sound she'd allowed him to hear before. Desperate to comfort her, show her she wasn't alone with something so harsh, Jane resisted. He had to take it all the way. For both of them. "I think you're leaving something out. The truth about how you feel about me."  


Without a pause . . . "I, I love you. I have for so long . . . I've wanted you . . . physically, so many times. It was so strong before you . . . left for the island. It's all screwed up since you came back." She looked sharply at him, fearing she might be misconstrued. "It's not all your fault! I still think about you that way sometimes. But I force myself to stop because . . . because things are so messed up between us and I had to cut my losses and move on."  


"Cut your losses. And now you want to have sex with me, compare my prowess with Pike's before you make a final decision about D.C. So you know what you're gaining or losing."  


"It sounds so cold when you say it like that."  


"Believe me. It feels cold."  


"It started out like that when I texted you if I could come over. It feels different now that we've been talking." _Like I know where I belong, and it's not with Marcus._  


"What if I don't want to be a contestant?"  


Her face balled into a childish pout. "You have to!"  


He couldn't help but chuckle at her reasoning and arguments, stripped down to want in the wake of exhausted emotion.  


"Don't laugh. If we were going together, we would have had sex by now and we would have a good idea if we were compatible."  


He looked doubtful. "To be truthful . . . "  


This would become a code phrase for them that something important was about to be said. Lisbon quieted immediately and focused her attention on him.  


"I'd like very much to kiss you. I'm not so sure I want to have full-blown sex. For one thing, if I still have a condom in my wallet, it's probably flakes by now."  


She didn't laugh at his little joke of truth, but waited for him to continue.  


"But I don't think I can. Knowing you'll go back to Pike tonight and maybe run him through his paces again. I already love you, Lisbon. To my toes. If I make love to you, I'm a goner. I'll be bonded to you by something primal and it will kill me to have to let go. I can't stand the thought of you leaving my arms and going to someone else. It nearly makes me crazy to think of it."  


The truth didn't take away her caution. "I understand. I know I'm asking a lot with no guarantees. But I need to know . . . something. Maybe a kiss, then."  


Her beautiful face, her imploring eyes. He'd wanted to kiss her, it seemed like forever. There was no doubt in his mind that it would be wonderful. Resistance worn to dust and blowing away in the night breeze, Jane felt himself nod before he ever opened his mouth. _Completely vulnerable. Let her crush me, if she chooses. Lisbon, Goddess of Chance, rolls the dice my way._ "A kiss, then."  


"A real kiss. Not something for a sister."  


"A real kiss. But no sex, no matter what happens, so don't even ask. And not right now. The moment for a first kiss has to be right."  


She smiled at him. _First kiss._ "You're such a girl," she teased and stepped close.  


Pulling her into a light embrace, he spoke softly, almost a whisper. "Hey. I love you. I'm madly in love with you. That's the truth."  


She nodded against his chest and sighed.  


"I don't blame you for finding someone else. You deserve to be happy, Even if it's not with me. I should have told you about how I felt. As soon as I figured it out. When you found someone else . . . you were serious about, everything started opening up in me. And at first it was just a confusing chasm of pain and jealousy, lost chances. I remembered when you said on the plane that time, that I didn't want to lose you as a sidekick. At first I thought that was it. But the more you saw him--. And then I knew you'd started sleeping with him-."  


She wiggled her whole body against him in disapproval. "Jane . . . "  


"Well, you have. We're telling the truth here."  


"Y-yess!" She started to cry softly, gripping his clothes with her fists.  


He wrapped his arms loosely around her back. "When that happened, I knew I wasn't missing my sidekick. I was losing the woman I loved and she didn't even know it. This love . . . it's so deep, Teresa. Deeper than the all the pain. I don't think it has an end. It scares the hell out of me. Maybe that's part of why I tried to keep silent and let you go. So I wouldn't lose myself. Even more, so I wouldn't fail you. You had someone else. If I had just managed to find you in time . . . " He made a strangled noise as he tried to stop the welling in his chest and the tears in his eyes. Breaking down completely, he sobbed, "But I didn't."  


"Yes you did."  


He shook his head and cleared his throat, staring at the ceiling.  


"I'm not engaged, am I? I'm not married. I'm not in love with him. I'm not even in D.C. I'm right here, trying to find out what it would be like between us. Trying to find out how you feel about me. You told me the truth and I told you the truth. And we love each other. It's beautiful." If she had snuggled any closer, she'd be inside him.  


"But, but your happy life . . . You know who—what I am."  


"I know you finally figured out the one thing that has kept us apart. You know, for a mentalist, you can be pretty dumb."  


Warmed through by their closeness, Jane wanted to kiss her. He bent slowly to her lips, flicking his eyes to hers to check her reaction, if she was ready.  


Lisbon felt his breath as he moved close, read his questioning eyes and tilted her head for him. She gave the tiniest nod and the flesh of his full soft lips pressed softly against hers, light suction as he pulled her mouth into a deeper kiss. She held him tighter and pressed her lips harder, adding a tender suction of her own. She wanted him to set the pace since he had been so unsure. He kissed every part of her lips, then lingered in a corner and moved the tip of his tongue into the crease there. It undid her completely and she opened her mouth, groaning as he entered her.  


Their kiss ignited something feral and low. Jane held her tighter, bowing her back as his hand shifted to find a grip that brought her the closest. She arched against him, as much for balance as anything, but he held her so tight, there was no worry of losing her footing. Liquid and fuzzy, she started to drift, yield to the passion in her body. Instead, Jane slowed down, loosened his hold and finally separated from her, breathing hard and staring.  


His eyes looked sad when he said, "Take that home to Pike."  


"Don't."  


"That's your kiss. It wasn't sisterly."  


"I want more. He doesn't kiss me like that."  


"Hell, Lisbon. What does he do?"  


"I mean it just doesn't feel that way with him. I'm glad to know it. I needed to know, Patrick. That's why I had to come here. Ask you."  


"You're not going to leave him for a kiss, Teresa."  


"No. That's why I want more."  


"I told you. I can't go that far. Under these, these circumstances."  


"You don't have to. I promise I won't try to have intercourse with you."  


"I'm not sure I have that kind of control."  


"You will for me. I'm saying no. Is that clear?"  


"No. Not clear at all. If you want more, but not all the way, what do you want?"  


So much for romance. "You can put your fingers on me, even in me. But not your mouth. And you can't put your . . . self in me. Those are the only rules. I'm trying here. How far do you want to go? Is that still too far? I'm willing for it to take any form you like within those boundaries. Role play. Anything."  


"Lisbon, this is the strangest talk I think I'll have with anyone in my life-."  


"I have to do this. Jane. I need you. We don't have to jump into it. We can ease into it, like our kiss."  


"You're a very good negotiator. I'd be a fool to say no, for this one chance if it turns out to be that way. But it will devastate me if you go back to him afterwards."  


_Jane. I want Jane. I want Patrick. It will work. It has to. Or nothing has been real about who we are to each other._ "Maybe I won't go back." She stepped back into his arms.  


"No?"  


She shook her head against his chest.  


"Why?"  


Pulling slightly away, her voice was strong even if it wavered a little. "Because I love you. I'm in love with you. Not him. It's the truth. I'm fond of him. There's a good chance I could come to love him, once we got to know each other well. But how could I truly love him if I have you? There's no contest if it's about love."  


"But you have to go to him, and at least . . . at least tell him. He might look pretty good when you're actually there with him."  


"Yes. I'll have to tell him. In person. But it won't matter. Because it's you I love, not him. Tonight . . . you make me sure."  


"But it's not just about love, is it?"  


She shook her head and laid it back on his chest. "No. Love hasn't been enough. It's about trust and my freedom. I can't be happy without them. If you couldn't learn that, we could never be happy. No matter how much I loved you."  


"I'm sorry I took that away from you. I'm a self-righteous idiot!"  


"But you didn't know you were."  


"No. I couldn't see what you meant at all. I thought it was about letting you do whatever you wanted to do. So, I did. I was afraid not to. But I see now it's not like that."  


"That's right. It's about me trusting and not having to wonder if you're telling me the truth, if you're keeping secrets from me in order to make my life what you think I want."  


"All secrets?" He rocked his body gently side to side, carrying her clinging form. When she looked at him, he smiled and she smiled back.  


"No. Of course not all secrets. Some are fun or, or surprises." She gave him her best doe eyes. "Even titillating or passionate. I like those secrets."  


"Good. Because there's some things I insist on surprising you with!"  


"Just not secrets that take away my power."  


"I think I understand now."  


"I think you do, too. But you might need reminding."  


"Probably. I know you'll do that." His sparkling wink held mischief.  


The look she gave him next was pure carnal fire. "And punishing . . . so the lesson sticks."  


Glowing lava pooled low in his body while its spark ran up his spine. A sound like an imploding bass line drained with the blood from his brain. He knew he deserved to be punished. So did she. "Oh?" His mouth had gone dry and he licked his lips.  


She smiled at him through sultry narrowed eyes and a sly, knowing smile. "You like that, don't you? Truth, remember!"  


"Oh, I won't lie about sexual pleasure. It's too . . . wonderful with the right person . . . someone I love . . . like you."  


"And . . . ?"  


"The thought of you spanking me is a fond . . . long . . fantasy. All those times you would be so annoyed with me at CBI for some dick antic I'd pulled. Late at night. Calling me into your office. Making me bare my butt." He sighed and shivered, pulling her tighter. "Getting out your big hairbrush . . . "  


"I don't have a hairbrush like that."  


"Mmmmmm. We'll have to get you one." He looked her quickly in the eyes. "I mean, if we we're together. I know just the kind." He started to sway with her, tiny steps like a dance. "What do you like when you need punishing?"  


"What? Me? I don't need to be punished!"  


"Mmmm. I'm not so sure. You were lying, too. And about important things. A ruler? It has a nice sting."  


"No! That would hurt too much! It might cut me."  


He brushed firm flesh, just a trace of fingertips across her belly. It made his talk of spankings seem very sexy. Her soft moan was almost subsonic, but he caught it.  


_I should tell him . . ._ "No one's ever spanked me." In the pause Lisbon created, Jane didn't rescind his judgement. Knowing he'd never really hurt her, she swallowed bravely. "What about the hairbrush?"  


"No. That's too heavy for you. How about a nice ping-pong paddle? Not too heavy. Broad surface. I could cover a lot of your luscious behind with that."  


"Luscious? You've been looking!"  


"Of course! For about eleven years."  


"And you've wanted to spank it?"  


"Oh, yes! You're such a bad-ass cop. It excites me! When you got bossy or grumpy, I'd fantasize about it. Maybe bend you over my desk in the CBI bull pen. Take down your pants and your pretty panties—they were always pretty."  


"I'll make a note of that."  


"Slap you with my hand and look at your flesh quake and pink up. Oh! I'd have to make a run to the men's room for that!"  


"Stop! You didn't!" It delighted her to know she'd had that power over him, even if it was a secret he'd kept to himself. "Your hand? I love your hands. I bet you could hold an entire fanny cheek in one. But won't it hurt your hand?"  


"It might. But I would take it, for you." She was rubbing the entire front of her body on him now. So. Teresa liked to play! "And I can take my hands anywhere we go."  


"Like right now." _There's plenty we can do without having, well . . . technical sex._ It didn't quite make sense, but maybe it made sense for them. "Do you have a hairbrush?"  


He didn't answer at first because his lips were on hers, then his tongue inside, tasting her succulent, silky mouth. He broke the kiss for air. "In the bathroom."  


"Hmmm?"  


"My hairbrush. It's in the bathroom."  


"Go get it. I'll be ready for you when you come out."  


Her hair was wild and her lips roughed and rouged from being kissed. He had to look at her twice to catch the evil sparkle flashing from the thin rims of green around her huge dark pupils. _Ready for him? She's going to strip naked! What a first time story this will be!_ He got up for the brush and when he returned she was undressed. Definitely ready, her hand was out and grasping air to demand the brush. He set it in her hand and took some time to look at her. Round full breasts, the tips pointing excitedly at him, rosy against the milk of her skin. So many beautiful freckles! The flare of her hips would call every man to rut for miles around. Her short legs were slender and fit, covered with freckles everywhere as they tapered to her dainty feet and painted toes.  


Shifting her weight to one foot conjured a stance of power that went straight to his nuts and made his cock struggle against his clothing. She wore a soft smile, her cheeks flushed and her eyes bright as he caught their gaze. Grinning with lust, he leaned around her shoulder to show he wanted to see the back of her. When she turned to accommodate him, his ears started to ring a little at the soft swell of her ass, the two cheeks toned and well-defined where her back and waist curved into them. Freckles covered her from tip to toe, tiny and chocolatey.  


The brush felt solid in her hand. Something about the blond, curling hairs that stuck out from the bristles here and there aroused her. Slanting her eyes towards the couch and using the brush to point, Lisbon indicated the he should get into position there.  


He took off his shirt. Serious, Jane caught her eyes to bring his next point. "The safe word is, 'Stop.' When she nodded, he kneeled and leaned over the seat, unzipping his pants to make it easy for her to take them down, laying his head on his lapped hands.  


Eagerly, Lisbon pulled Jane's pants down with his underwear, then touched him to straighten and turn to her on his knees so that she could look at the maleness of him. He was ample, rock hard and quivering, panting for breath. "So sexy, Patrick. I can't wait to touch you."  


He toed off his shoes. Lisbon pulled off his socks and motioned for him to lean over again. Lisbon savored his movement, perfect round ass thrust out for her. She caressed him lavishly, partly to learn how he was made so she wouldn't hurt him. Her fingers rolled between the cheeks and down to brush the back of his balls, fingering the flesh behind them until he moaned and pressed against the edge of the couch.  


Suddenly he gasped and she took her hand away. "You're not angry enough to damage anything, are you? You'll stop if I can't take it?"  


"Yes. I won't be too rough. But I intend for you to smart!"  


"I've done an awful lot of things to be punished for . . . "  


"Are you chickening out?"  


"No . . . I just don't know if it's wise to pay for them all at once."  


"I'll concentrate on your lies to me at the hospital. Like . . . being happy for me to leave." She smacked him with the flat of the brush, testing his tolerance.  


He hissed and wiggled his butt.  


She smacked him a little harder on the other cheek before he stopped moving. This time he grunted a little and made a sound to sooth himself. By the third smack, she had the strength of her swing about right as she enumerated the lies he had told and how it had made her feel, how it had confused and hurt her. By the time she was finished, both cheeks were bright red and he allowed himself to yelp as the stinging blows landed. When she stopped, she lightly kissed and caressed his hot bottom. "God, you have a beautiful ass!"  


"Is it over now?"  


"Yes. I'm just trying to make it feel better. Is it working?"  


"Kind of."  


"Is that the truth or a lie?"  


"It doesn't help, but I like the kissing."  


Then she leaned forward to his side, pushing him to face her, kissing him. He lowered to the carpet, gently positioning on side of his hip, not wanting to sit on his butt just yet. "I'm going to need some lotion to-."  


"In a minute."  


She sucked his tongue, thoroughly exploring its soft surface texture. The muscle was large and wide, sensual and wildly overwhelming. Soon he bent over her on the carpet, pushing up her legs to get between them, one hand low, one fondling her breasts as she kissed the sense out of him.  


One of her legs slid from his shoulder when he leaned in to kiss her, his thumb still wickedly at work on her clit and his fingers sliding in and our of her already tightening flesh. "I want my mouth on you! I want to taste you, put my tongue in you, smell how I arouse you! I want you spread open for me, begging me for more, begging for my hands to be everywhere while I suck you until you scream! Teresa!"  


She did scream, just as her mind went blank from confusion about his voice, his words, his touch, all an indeterminate whirlwind as the orgasm jumped her and thrashed her, arms thrown out and chest heaving. Jane sucked her tight, tingling nipples, excited and hunching into her belly, so hard, his breath . . . he groaned and she was flooded with warmth as he pulsed and emptied onto her stomach. Her fisting core made her cry out over and over again.  


Finally, it began to wane. "Patrick," she said weakly, her voice wavering with her body. "Hold onto me."  


"I'll never let you go, never! You're beautiful. I love you. My Teresa. Mine." Wrapping his arms tightly around her, he turned them to the side and kissed her neck, found her lips. His fervor was unabated as he consumed her mouth, moaning into it for more until she was gasping and rubbing her pelvis on his stomach.  


"He never made me feel like this. And he was fucking me!"  


Grinning and a bit prideful, Jane picked her up roughly by the waist and flopped her onto her stomach several inches away. She made a funny little, "Oof!" when she landed but before she could catch a breath, he struck a cupped hand on her nearest ass cheek with a sharp slap! She huffed, pulling her head up and giving him a baleful stare lit by her bright cheeks. Before she could say a word, he spanked her again, harder. She wiggled her hips and groaned, but it didn't sound like all pain. He slapped the other cheek and before she could react, he sat up and pulled her into his lap to give her another hard crack. She cried out at that one, managed to turn towards him a little, grab his now rigidly standing cock and curl around to nip his waist!  


He roared in surprise and spanked her twice. Her bottom was shining pink now. He wanted to fuck her! Suddenly he felt warm and focused. Teresa's mouth was on him! Her little pink tongue licked him when she didn't have the fat, sensitive head in her mouth. Leaning back on his hands, he let her work him until he was ready to come if she took even one. . . more . . . lick. Looking him in the eyes, she gobbled him and he came with a shout, curled over her back with his hands squeezing and kneading her luscious ass.  


When he was able to notice anything, he felt her arm against his knee as she wiggled a hand between her legs. His spine curled with pleasure. "Show me!"  


She looked at him, cheeks aflame and eyes glittering with a far away look.  


"Show me what you're doing to yourself, Teresa. I want to see."  


She rolled off him onto her back, her hand covering her sex as her fingers moved below.  


"More. I can't really see."  


Glistening pink flashed him as she lifted a leg and hooked it on his shoulder to pivot until her hips rested on the edge of his lap, her legs splayed open and relaxed to his gaze. She was wet, bright pink and wide open to him, her clit seated saucily between two fat labia.  


Not taking his eyes from her, he almost whispered, "Show me."  


Spreading herself open even more, she manipulated her clit, pinching and rubbing, sometimes pulling a little. Two curled fingers disappeared inside, pumping in and out. Her bottom was burning where he'd spanked her, warming everything, tingling with excitement as she watched Patrick's eyes on her, his tongue moistening his lips, his nostrils flaring to take in her scent.  


Heaviness gathered in her loins as her body prepared for climax, teasing her nearly there and then ebbing back several times, her fingers working new angles, always rubbing, now with the two fingers that had been inside her.  


Tiny protesting groans trickled from her throat and she began to thrash a little. Her sounds grew to a rhythm, louder as she felt her pelvis try to ignite. Her back arched, legs tightening, gripping Jane's body where they touched. He reached between them and brought his erection to stand before her eyes, stroking with only a few fingers so she could see. She watched his cock pulsate and grow tight as his heart beat in every stroke. At the point of no return, Teresa cried out, growing louder as she started to spasm and froze into an arching crescendo. Jane came, shooting high, and droplets splattered her stomach and breasts. Slowly, they quieted into sighing breath.  


Patrick gently brushed Teresa's thighs and hips as she soothed. "You are so beautiful. So beautiful to watch. Teresa." He waited until her eyes were on his. "You are an incredibly sexy woman. Thank you for showing me, for being with me."  


She smiled. "I love being with you this way. You make me feel free."  


_'Free.' I've made her happy!_ "You trusted me so easily with your body, with your . . . nature."  


"You would never hurt me, this part of me. I don't know how I know it."  


"If I can help you trust me in all the other ways, my life will be made."  


"I think I can. I think you will be trustworthy, Patrick." She gripped him with her knees and pulled herself to sit in his lap to kiss him. "And exciting!"  


He petted her breasts and body in long, trembling strokes, marveling at the creamy skin covered everywhere with tiny freckles. She was amazing! When he looked at her face to stroke her hair, she was frowning, lost in thought. He was afraid to know why. "You'll go back to him?" His heart prepared to turn to stone and take up residence in his jittery stomach.  


"No! I love you. I want you to touch me, to do these things that make me wild, that make me . . . know myself. My true self. I love you and you satisfy me. How could I want to go anywhere else? I don't!"  


Something tight unwound in his chest, making even the long muscles of his legs as loose as honey. "You are a hard woman. I almost feel sorry for him. But I feel too happy for me!"  


"I'm not hard. I've finally found my place, who I belong with. And I don't ever want to leave."  


"I don't want you to. I want to be with you, be the man you love and share your life with and turn to for satisfaction. I want to be the one to make love to you." He kissed her. "How can I help you with Pike?'  


_No._ "I need to face him alone."  


"Are you sure?"  


"Yes. He needs to know it's all from me."  


Of course that was true. He'd want the same, in Pike's place. "Okay." He thought a moment. "Will you drop me off for tea at the nearest place and come for me when you're through with him?"  


"You think I will cave?"  


Shaking his head, he looked at her with clear eyes. "No. I just want the wait, this new separation to be as short as possible. You don't know how it thrills me that you are coming for me. That it's only a few moments until we start our life together."  


She touched his face, pushing the hair back and then feathering his lips with her fingers. "You're beautiful. You know that? Not just your face and body. Everything about you is beautiful."  


Blushing, he tried to drop his head, but she caught his chin to make him hold her gaze. He smiled and winked. "Probably all those sex chemicals still in your blood, tinting your vision."  


"I want them there."  


He picked up her hand to kiss the fingers, then looked deeply into her dilated eyes. "Anytime."  


She kissed his cheek and they got cleaned up and ready to leave. Jane managed to slather some lotion onto his stinging bottom. She had got him good!  


He sipped tea in the café, enjoying her scent on his fingers when he brought the cup to his lips. He was just beginning to fidget, his burnt butt smarting from the hard seating. His impatience combined with a little irrational fear that Pike might sway her. Then he would cycle into calm by reminding himself what had just passed between Lisbon and him.  


He watched the doors and windows to catch the moment Lisbon came into view and rose from his seat to meet her. They walked towards her car. She was upset, unsettled. Stopping, he took her hand. "What happened?"  


"He was angry. He exploded. Accused me of leading him on when I knew I loved someone else." Her eyes pleaded with Jane. "How can I explain us, our relationship, what has been going on since you came to the CBI- to anyone? It's too big. No one but you and I can really understand. I'm sure whatever I said sounded pretty lame."  


Jane touched her arm. "Did he hurt you?"  


"No. Just scared me. I've never seen him even vaguely like that. He's never raised his voice to me. Always nice, accommodating, thoughtful."  


"It seems you gave us both tryouts tonight. Did he seem hurt? Plead with you? Say he loved you?"  


"No. Just angry. He swore and told me to leave. So, I did. I'm glad you're here with me, Jane. I was an idiot."  


"You weren't. I was."  


"I'm sure neither of us will earn gold stars for all the mistakes we've made with each other. But maybe they don't count now. We can talk about the ones that do, as long as we tell the truth to one another."  


"I promise."  


"I promise, too."  


He lifted her off her feet, hugging her stomach to his chest and watching her face. Smiling, she bent to kiss his neck and the solid muscle where his shoulders tapered.  


A lusty thought came to him with a burst of happiness. "Will you wear dresses for me sometimes? Simple ones. Like, maybe we're just going shopping. No heels. Or maybe the kitten ones."  


"You want to lift my skirt and see my pretty panties, don't you?"  


"In the worst way."  


"Will you take me from behind?"  


"Watch myself sliding into you under that fine bottom of yours? Oh, yes." It was probably still very pink from his spanking. He knew his ass was still stung!  


"Then, yes. If you'll do that, I'll wear dresses for you sometimes."  


When he set her down, they hugged one another tightly at the waist and she rested her head against his arms. "And extra-pretty panties."  


"Do you have any clothing preferences?"  


"For you?" An impish smile formed as she thought it through. "Yes. Baggy surf shorts, no underwear, so that I can pull out the waistband and look in at you. Plenty roomy so I can reach down into them and molest you!" She looked at him slyly and arched an eyebrow. "Front or back."  


He pulled her hand to his stiffening flesh so that she would know how she aroused him.  


_Inside me. Let's go home._ She rubbed and squeezed before taking her hand away.  


"And do you like it—in back?"  


"Anyone's only played there." She looked at him a little anxiously. "I have a feeling you'd be serious about it."  


His cheeks were in high color. "I would. But I wouldn't hurt you. The secret is to be very, very hard. Very, very lubricated. And very, very gentle. Or . . . we could just play."  


"Especially the gentle part." Lisbon shivered with pleasure, and smiled. He could make anything sound good.  


Jane grinned broadly. They were negotiating the start of their sexual life together. And things were looking promising indeed. How could he ever have overlooked her passionate, adventurous nature? On some level he must have sensed it. And then pushed it down.  


He had almost missed the love of his new life. He removed the ring from his left hand and placed it in his pocket. Lisbon looked at him, serious and sad. He bent and kissed her. "It's time."  


She nodded, her eyes checking his to see if he was okay, holding her breath a little. But she let it out when he smiled at her.  


The sky was brightening, preparing for dawn. The weekend was upon them. "I know someplace where we can get you some proper chocolate. You need it after an encounter like you had with Pike. I'm still not sure that I shouldn't go punch him in the nose for being such a scary dick!"  


"You? In a fight?" She giggled. "For me?"  


"Only for you. Anything, for you. We need to get condoms."  


She wrapped her arm around his for the brief walk to her parked car.  


They took the chocolate to her house and fed it to each other in bed, sharing the sweet melt in deep kisses.  


Their first time, she chose to be on top, leaning back to slide on him and give him the most sensual ride of his life. He fondled her breasts, tweaking the nipples to make her gasp and go faster, then rose up to kiss them fiercely until she came. When she arched in ecstasy, his hands supporting her back, the ends of her hair tickled inside his thighs and triggered his own release.  


They both collapsed into sated slumber, awoke, fed each other breakfast. Then he pinned her to the mattress, his legs splayed out and bent, sealing himself into her. The sleek muscles of his thighs and taut buttocks moved like gentle springs, scissoring into the swollen wet without leaving her, pressing and massaging her most sensitive places until she shouted his name. His first name.  


Before they fell asleep again, she whispered into his ear, "I'm glad you passed the audition."


End file.
